Somewhat Damaged
by jenrussell131
Summary: Carol finds her way back to her family, but can't shake the ghosts inside her head.
1. Chapter 1

It had been about a week since she watched the attack on what was once her home from the shelter of the treeline. She wasn't sure who survived, and who was lost. She couldn't stick around and see what happened. She couldn't suffer the loss of her family once again, in any sense of the word.

Daryl had taught her how to track, and she was almost as skilled as he was. For almost a whole day, she followed two sets of shoe prints that she was certain belonged to Rick and Carl. After a little while, they were joined by Michonne's. A few days later, she found one of his bolts, stuck in the head of a walker. Eventually, all of the tracks led her to a place called Terminus. She wasn't sure why, but something about this place felt wrong.

Under the cover of darkness, Carol had moved through the area with the skill of a ninja, a silent grace learned from Michonne. With her back flush with the wall, she peeked around the corner to scan the area ahead. Seeing nothing to worry about, she kept herself tucked close to the walls to make her way across the courtyard.

While using a full clothesline for cover she found her sign that she was in the right place. She ran her fingers through the frayed ends as the tears threatened to fall. He was here and she had to find him. With a quick tug, the poncho was off of the line and she slipped it over her head. Her nose crinkled up at the flowery smell that invaded her space rather than the smoky, woodsy smell she expected and loved. She shook her head and pressed on, determined to find her family. Determined to find him.

Silently, she entered the apartments, first making sure the rooms were empty, then looking for anything that looked useful. She found a pistol with a silencer which she tucked in her waistband, and put as much ammo as she could in her pockets. With her knife firmly held in hand, she kept moving.

As she searched through the rooms, she found a number of signs that her family was there. Carol made a mental note to thank Daryl for the lessons he had given her. She was more aware of her surroundings now, thanks to him.

Hershel's pocket watch was sitting on a dresser in the third apartment she scoured. She opened a pocket on the inside of her jacket, vowing to get the watch to Glenn. The sadness returned as she remembered when he gave it to Glenn and how moved the younger man had been.

* * *

><p>"He said I was good enough for his little girl. He said that, and he gave me this," Glenn said, pulling the watch out of his pocket. He was beaming, so pleased that Hershel thought so highly of him to give him this token of his trust. The older man trusted him with not only his life, but the lives of his daughters.<p>

"You don't give yourself enough credit. Any girl would be lucky to have you, sweetheart," she said, realizing she sounded like her mother. She rose to her feet, exiting the young man's cell.

She walked outside to sit on a bench to watch the sunset. A few tears fell as she remembered days gone by with her mother. She really did turn into her, and she was okay with that. Glenn didn't have a mother anymore, that he knew of, and she didn't have a daughter with her either. Why not give each other what was missing?

"Mind if I sit?" Hershel asked.

"Of course not," she replied, sliding over to give the man more room. "You made his day, you know."

"I had my doubts at first, but I've seen the dedication he shows this family. He's come a long way from the kid that showed up at my farm. He's a good man. I'd be mighty proud to call him my son."

* * *

><p>As she was exiting the apartment building, Carol hesitated for a minute. Something didn't feel right. She took a look behind her and saw a large orange bundle poking out from under the stairs. After a closer look, she realized it was the large backpack that had come back from a run with Carl. She smiled at the memory of the boy pulling the bag out of the SUV. It was almost as big as he was. When she lifted the bag, the items underneath it made her sick to her stomach. They were in more trouble than she realized if he was without his crossbow and Michonne didn't have her katana.<p>

Upon exiting the apartments, she saw some train cars to her right. There was a pile of discarded food wrappers near the stairs. The people here were either holding animals or other people prisoner here. Maybe it was her people. She had to get inside and find out for herself.

Looking around and seeing no sign of people, she darted to the side of the car, listening to who or what may have been inside. Someone was sobbing. Maggie? Muffled words of consolation hit her ears. The voice sounded like Glenn. She refused to let herself get too excited. They couldn't all be here in the same place, could they? She had to get them out so they could find the others. She quietly placed the belonging she gathered at the steps of the rail car and stepped back, carefully aiming the pistol she found in the empty apartment.

Her family sprung forward from the now open door the moment Carol shot the lock off of the rail car they were being held in, touching her arm or giving her a quick hug on their way out. Carl hugged her so tight she couldn't breathe. The newcomers, unsure of who she was, just nodded their appreciations. She waited, but no one else emerged. She was happy to see those she considered her family alive, but the face she was looking for wasn't among them. She had lost him too.


	2. Chapter 2

Carol's heart ached as looked at the faces around her. There were a few members of her family missing. Hershel and Beth weren't with them. Hershel was good on his crutches, but not good enough to make a quick escape unassisted. Beth never participated in any of the weapons training sessions they had. She insisted it wouldn't be necessary while living in the prison, that it was safe there. Maybe Daryl had helped them escape during the attack. The older man had been more of a father to him than his own was, and Carol knew he would have done anything he could to save them. Still, with him missing, a part of her was missing.

They had somehow managed to keep their relationship a secret in their not so private prison home. Everyone knew they shared a cell, but assumed it was just a way to make room for newcomers. Sure, that was how it started, but as time went on, they grew closer. They kept warm on the colder nights by sharing a bed, sleeping back to back. Eventually, they spent every night wrapped up in each other. They were never intimate, never admitted their true feelings, never even kissed. None of that was needed to know how the other felt. They just knew.

"Ma'am, I may not know you, but I'd like to thank you for opening this can of whoop ass on this cult of godforsaken asshats," Abraham said, pulling Carol from her thoughts. His outstretched hand waiting to shake hers as congratulations for a job well done. "It looks to me like you kicked some ass, and instead of names, you took their weapons."

Carol gave the man a tiny smile as thanks as she shook his hand. She truly was grateful for the appreciation shown to her by her family and the newcomers, but she just couldn't be happy. The one person she hoped to find, needed to find, wasn't there.

Just as she began walking away, the shuffling sounds of someone dragging their feet caused Carol to turn her head back to the rail car. It was him. Daryl, looking ragged, his eyes empty of emotion, appeared in the open doorway. He walked down the steps, eyes focused on the his feet. Unaware of her presence, he walked forward a few steps before stopping, still studying the ground under his feet.

Carol wasn't sure what his reaction would be to seeing her. Did Rick tell him what she had done? Was he mad? Would he want her to leave?

Daryl had stopped walking and was looking at the boots he had brought back for her on a run. His head whipped up and looked right into the clear blue eyes that were staring back at him. As the realization hit him that she was truly there, she wasn't a figment of his imagination, he threw his arms around her with an intensity that knocked them both to the ground.

"Are you…" Real? Hurt? Okay? All the things he wanted to ask raced through his head as he held on to her, her body vibrating as she sat on the leaf covered ground sobbing. He reached out to wipe the unseen tears from her cheek and pulled her into his arms.

Shame on him for thinking she wouldn't be alright on her own. Once they were settled in at the prison, she had come to him looking for any sort of training he could offer her. Her natural abilities gave him a solid foundation to build on. She moved silently, more so than even Michonne. Her eyes were always scanning the area, inside or out, looking for any possible threats. Carol had even become almost as skilled at tracking as he was.

"Thought you were gone, woman. I gave up on everything." Daryl whispered, smiling as he put his forehead to hers, lost in the eyes he had been dreaming of. His tears fell as he finally said the words he had refused to say out loud.

"Nine lives," Carol replied. "I missed you so much." She moved her hands to his cheeks, dabbing at the wetness there. Her eyes drifted to his lips, desperate to taste them. She couldn't, not when he was so overcome with emotion. "Let's get out of here. We can talk later." Carol started to pull away, but Daryl kept his arm around her waist. It had been so long since he had seen her, since he had touched her. He couldn't let go of her now.

"Wait a minute. I got something to tell you that I should have said a long time ago. I love you, woman. Won't let anything happen to you again." Daryl smiled, feeling the weight lift off of his shoulders by telling the woman how he felt. It felt good to finally accept that she wouldn't hurt him, that he could knock the wall down and let her in, like she had done for him a long time ago.

"I love you too," Carol said. She pulled his lips to hers, not caring who was watching, and kissed him. Her tongue danced with his as though it wasn't their first kiss, but rather their last. In that moment, she vowed to make every kiss as though it would be the last. After all, in this world, it could be.

"You guys can make out later. We need to go!" shouted Glenn as the others grabbed what they could from the stockpile Carol had accumulated as she moved through the compound.

The blood rushed to Daryl's ears as Carol grabbed his hand, hesitating for a moment before pulling him along with her. After finding his crossbow with no sign of him alive, she needed to keep physical contact with him as they followed the others out through the gate. She couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him again for any length of time.


	3. Chapter 3

No one stopped to see if all of the monstrous humans had been removed from existence they just ran. Quickly, they unearthed the bag Rick had buried before entering Terminus so they wouldn't be unarmed, and ran into the trees for cover. As they passed signs directing other survivors to Terminus, a few people would slow down to remove them in an effort to prevent others from certain death if there was anyone left at the compound.

Carol lead the way for her family as they hurried through the trees bordering the abandoned railroad tracks. Insisting that she had to show something to both of the Grimes men, she waved Carl up to walk with her. She knew Rick well enough by now to know that he would stay close to his son making it the easiest way to get him up front as well.

It was odd to her, calling Carl a man, but he was now. This world had changed him, caused him to grow up far quicker than any mother would like. He had faced some horrific events already, the worst of which Carol didn't even know about yet, but if you looked close enough, you could still see a little bit of the boy she met at the quarry. She put her arm around his shoulder and pulled him into her side.

"She's proud of you. Always watching you, supporting you. She never fully left you," Carol said, smiling at the young man. Eyes the same chocolate brown as his mother's looked back at her.

"She's proud of you too, you know," replied Carl. Neither one of them needed to pick at the scab and say a name, they just knew who the other meant.

Carol let go of Carl's shoulder when they came across a group of about 20 walkers gathered at the base of a tree. It was nothing more than practice for this group. They now knew the real threat wasn't the walkers, it was the living.

The sound of a baby crying from above got their attention. Metal hinges squealed and Tyreese appeared in the doorway of a long since forgotten about hunting blind. He defended the half broken ladder and turned to face everyone revealing the source of the crying.

"Judith!" Carl ran up to the man, reaching for the sister he thought he had lost. Rick fell to his knees at their feet, overcome with disbelief. Sasha had caught up and hugged her brother, almost laughing at the entire situation.

"Thank you! How did you do it?" Rick asked the man in front of him. "We saw her car seat. It was- It was covered in-". Rick stopped, unable to continue.

"The blood was mine.". Tyreese looked for Carol, nodding for her to come stand with him. She took his hand, offering what little support she could in her exhaustion. Stretching up, she whispered something I'm his ear before he continued.

"I got Jude out of the prison. I had some help for a little while before Carol showed up. She's really the one that saved her."

"Ty, do you know about what happened?" Rick didn't want to ask the question. He just wanted to hug his sweet little girl, but it was an urgent issue he felt needed to be addressed.

"She told me everything," replied Tyreese. "Let's just get somewhere safe and we'll talk about it more."

* * *

><p>Sasha ran along side of Tyreese who still had Judith tucked against his chest sound asleep, and Glenn and Maggie were always just an arm's reach apart. Even Daryl had shouldered his crossbow so his hand was free to hold Carol's tightly, never wanting to release the woman he thought had lost again. Rick noticed, and for the first time since he abandoned her, he realized the gravity of his mistakes.<p>

"Aren't peas supposed to be good for your eyes?" A mischievous smile danced across Michonne's face as she walked alongside the former sheriff.

"No, I bet you're thinking of carrots. Peas are good for your bones though," Rick responded in all seriousness. He wasn't sure what he was thinking either. All he could focus on was the fact that he received one of the incredibly rare smiles from the ninja.

"No wonder you missed that. If you would have grown carrots, maybe you wouldn't have been the last to figure out about those two," Michonne teased. "Glenn and I had a bet going. He said you would see their connection before they did. I won myself a delicious chocolate bar."

* * *

><p>They found a small farmhouse tucked deep in the trees and made quick work of the two walkers outside. The inside was untouched, including the pantry. Rick decided now would be as good a time as any to let it be known that Tara was at the prison that day. She was standing on the same side as the madman who so viciously took the life of their patriarch as nothing more than a warning or a scolding for not following directions. He addressed his concerns to the group, but was met with a united front in the woman's defense.<p>

"Rick, she's one of us," Glenn said, placing a hand on Tara's shoulder.

"She is," Maggie insisted. "She could have kept moving. She could have killed Glenn. Instead, she tells him the truth, who she is, and what she did. She apologized, provided protection, worked as a team with Glenn to help him find us." Maggie said as she stepped forward. She placed her hand on Tara's other shoulder in support.

Trusting Glenn's judgement, Rick accepted Tara's apology and welcomed her to their group.

* * *

><p>They settled into the house for the night with Tyreese and Sasha taking the first watch in order to make up for lost time. The others scattered about the house. Michonne put Carl and Judith in a room together, pushing the twin bed up against the wall to keep Judith from falling off the bed. Maggie and Glenn disappeared into an upstairs bedroom shortly after dinner. Eugene, Tara, and Rosita made camp on the couches in the living room, while Rick and Abraham sat up at the kitchen table discussing their plans.<p>

Daryl let Rick know they would be having a talk later, just the three of them, before he climbed the stairs, Carol's hand in his. He wouldn't let Rick's wrongdoing go without a discussion. He would insist that he apologize to Carol. Rick should be kissing her boots for saving them all. He shut the door behind him and turned his attention fully to the angel who had come to his rescue for the remainder of the night.

Apparently, someone in the group thought it would be funny to leave the master bedroom for them, but Daryl wasn't mad. It was the room with a queen sized bed, giving them both room to sleep in the bed together comfortably. Sure of who's idea it was, he made a mental note to thank Glenn in the morning.

"Beats the hell out of the two of us sharing that cot in the prison," Daryl said as he climbed into the bed. Carol chuckled, rolling onto her side so she could look at him, grateful for a chance to spend one more night with him. WIth his head propped up on his hand, he traced small circles up and down her back. There were a number of things they still needed to talk about, but this time with her would take precedence.


	4. Chapter 4

Carol would have slept naked every night if she could. Feeling the luxurious the silk sheets against her skin was unbelievable, second only to Daryl's touch.

"I'm taking these with us when we leave," she declared, stretching and writhing under the red sheet. She never would have bought red silk sheets for her home, afraid of what Ed would have said, would have done, but Daryl wasn't Ed. He was the farthest thing from him. Comforting, gentle, caring, and loving. Yes, there were polar opposites.

"Woman, if those sheets make you smile like that, I'll carry them everywhere for you," Daryl replied, smirking at her as he pulled his boxers back on. He watched as she rolled onto her stomach, raising her ass in the air for him. The way she was wiggling was enough to drive him crazy.

"It's not just the sheets. It's you, Daryl. You're what makes me happy." Carol reached for his hand and pulled him back into bed. He lifted his arm so she could slide into place at his side, her head on his shoulder. "I love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," Daryl replied, kissing her forehead and closing his eyes.

Cuddling. The thought was foreign to him. No one had cuddled Daryl as far as he could remember. Maybe his mother did when he was a baby, but as soon as he was able to walk and talk, it surely stopped. He remembered being sick when he was a child, just needing some comfort, a hug from his mother to make him feel better. Instead, he would get an earful from his father about needing to toughen up, to take it like a man. At least he would be spared any more physical pain on those days

Merle sure didn't cuddle him when he was little as some big brothers do. Never had a girlfriend to snuggle up on a couch with. Hell, he never even had a puppy to curl up with.

Then the world went to shit. His parents were long gone. Merle had sacrificed himself in one final act of honor, or maybe it was a first act of honor. It seemed it took the rising of the dead for both Dixon's to find their place in life, to find value.

Carol shifted in her sleep, her hand sliding across his stomach and resting on his chest. It felt so natural for him to wrap his arm around her back, holding her tightly in place next to his body. Finally, at the end of the world, he had found the person with the comforting touch that made him feel better that he had longed for throughout his miserable life.

Moonlight beamed in through the window, illuminating the room just enough for Daryl to study her angelic features. Merle had once referred to her as a little wood pixie when he came back to the prison with him. While he was sure Merle had meant that in a perverted way, when she appeared in the woods in front of him, with her short hair and a twinkle in her eyes, he would agree she was pixie-like.

* * *

><p>Carol woke up sometime during the night, tears streaming down her cheeks. Daryl shot up out of bed, worried they were under attack. He was reaching for his crossbow as Carol got out of bed to stop him. She knew his time with Joe's group had made him very jumpy, but he didn't go into the detail with her. When she prodded him for details, he mumbled something about protecting her from what could have happened on the road.<p>

"There's no one here. I'm sorry I woke you up," Carol whimpered through her sobs. She gently brushed the tears off of her raw skin with the blanket.

"So, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Daryl sat back down on the bed and pulled Carol closer, cradling her against his chest. "Another nightmare?"

Carol's nightmares weren't anything new to Daryl, or even the rest of the group. After the discovery of Sophia back on Hershel's farm, she had a few of them every night. Over time, the intensity and the frequency diminished. Anyone that paid attention to them was able to see the reason why. Daryl's closeness to her allowed her to feel protected both while awake and while dreaming.

"I just keep playing it over in my head," she confessed, burying her face in his shirt. She wasn't sure if she was just seeking his comforting touch or attempting to hide from the memories.

"What? It's just us in here. Don't you trust me anymore?" Daryl couldn't disguise the disappointment in his voice as he tried to encourage her to talk about what was on her mind. After Rick was so quick to kick her out, he understood her hesitation, but he wasn't Rick.

The words cut her deeply. Never in her life had she dreamed of trusting another person as much as she trusted him. After everything they had been through, Sophia, the tombs, and Merle, they trusted each other with everything.

"That's not it, Daryl," she said, pulling herself up to a sitting position. She reached for his hand, clasping it firmly with both of hers. For once, she was the one who couldn't look in his eyes. "I trust you completely. I just… I just can't talk about it yet. Please, just be patient with me, a little while longer." Carol placed her head back on his chest and pulled the blanket up around herself, letting him know that at least for now, the conversation was over.

Daryl nodded his agreement, not trusting his words to come out right at the moment. He could see the pain in her reddened eyes. Everyone has lost so much, some more than others. She had lost Sophia, and now the other two girls. He didn't even know what happened to them when the asshole stormed the gates. Of course, that was what was bothering her. How could he not have realized that sooner?

He sat up for the rest of the night, unable to sleep for more than a few minutes here and there. She woke up a few times throughout the night, gasping for air, tears streaming down her face. Each time she woke, he reassured her they were ok, they were alone, and she could trust him.

She reminded him of a startled deer in the woods, ready to run at a moment's notice. It hurt him to see her this way, unable to do anything to help her other than just be there. He would wait until she was ready to open up about whatever it was that had happened to her out there.


	5. Chapter 5

It was barely light out when the sounds of people started stirring began to fill the house. Glenn worked on building the fire to boil water, as Sasha, Tara, and Maggie sorted through their meager supplies, searching the house for anything they may have missed before heading back out on the tracks.

Daryl prepared to head back out to hunt for food, planning on taking Carol with him. With skills rivaling his, he didn't want anyone else at his side out there now. He stood up and walked over to the bed, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each breath. Perfect pink lips were turned up into a tiny smile, making him wonder what thoughts were filling her head. He didn't want to wake her, not after her restlessness last night. Something was clearly bothering her more than she let on, but she wouldn't talk about it. All he could do was wait until she was ready, and he would be there. He wasn't letting her out of his sight again.

"Daryl, we need to talk about a few things before the two of you head out there," Rick said, holding his hand up to keep the pair from disappearing into the woods.

Daryl pulled Carol into his left side, his arm around her protectively, his right hand twitching near the knife handle at his side. Now he wanted to talk. Not before making a hasty decision to kick one of their own out when he wasn't even in charge anymore. Now.

"Listen here, brother," Daryl sneered, blood boiling with anger. "You left the kindest, most caring woman I've ever met, the woman who's been raising your children, in a subdivision in the middle of nowhere to fend for herself. You didn't give a fuck whether or not she lived or died!" Daryl felt Carol squeeze his hand and turned his attention back to her.

"Or worse!" Daryl yelled spinning back around, almost nose to nose with the former sheriff. Memories of the comments Joe and his merry band of assholes had said about women, when they found Michonne... "Did you ever stop to think for a second, one fucking second about what could happen to a woman alone out there?" Carol squeezed his hand again and he stopped yelling, her eyes pleading with him to calm himself down some.

"This woman has put everyone else before her, including your kids, and you threw her away like she was-" Daryl took a deep breath before continuing, wrapping both arms around her waist, his hands grasping her. "You left my woman to die, Rick. That's not something I'm going to forget."

"I'm sorry," Rick apologized. His eyes shifted down to his foot, which was kicking at the loose gravel scattered across the ground, anything to keep from looking at Daryl. "I didn't realize you two had made it official."

"Doesn't matter either way. It's up to her to decide if we stay or if we leave, together. We'll talk about it out there and let you know what our plans are." Daryl said as he took Carol's hand and they vanished behind the line of trees.

"What do you want to do?" asked Daryl. They walked in silence to a clearing in the woods, a winding creek cutting through the middle of it and ending in a small pond. Daryl sat down on a large boulder at the water's edge and looked up at Carol, waiting for her to respond. "I'm with you either way," he added, suddenly nervous that she didn't understand his unwavering dedication to her.

"Daryl, I can't ask you to do that. The others need-"

"Fuck them!" Daryl growled, cutting her off mid-sentence. He sprung up from the rock, his eyes narrowed at her and began pacing. "I don't give a fuck what the others need. You're what's important to me. It's always been you Carol. Why don't you get that?"

He took a deep breath, sitting back on the boulder, his eyes cast down at the water. Looking at his own reflection right now made him angrier. He hadn't meant to take his frustrations out on her, but as always, she was there, letting him get it all out. "Wherever you go, that's where I want to be."

She sat on the rock next to him, just letting him know she was there, that she understood. There was a time in her life when any man raising his voice would have her scurrying away.

They sat next to each other in silence, watching as the tree branches swayed in the wind. Carol noticed there were still fish swimming in the pond. She was wondering if they would still be ok to eat when Daryl spoke up, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Want to make it official?" he asked, looking into her reflection. She looked at him, curious about what he was thinking. "Glenn already introduced you to the new guys as Mrs. Dixon."

"Mrs. Dixon?" She snorted. "But I don't have a dress, or a maid of honor. And the nearest church is just dreadful."

Daryl watched the way her eyes lit up as she laughed at her own joke. Never had he seen something so beautiful, so perfect. She was simply amazing.

"I'm serious. Ain't no church, but we don't need one. Just you and me," Daryl said as he removed something from his pocket. He kneeled down at her feet, taking her left hand in both of his. "It's not much, but it's all I have. Put it together just for you. I found the necklace when I was with Beth, and I picked up the jasper on the med run with Michonne. Planned on coming back and telling you how I felt, but…"

Her mind was racing as she looked at the jasper, tied to the silver chain with what she was guessing was fishing line, and realized how serious he was. Carol repeated the name a few more times in her head, becoming more comfortable with the idea each time. The fact that her legal first marriage hadn't worked out for her wasn't a reason to avoid it this time. It already felt as though they were tied together spiritually. It would be nice to share vows of their own, adapted to this world of course.

"I, Carol, promise to love, honor, and cherish you, to watch your back always, to aim for the head, and to never let you turn." She took a rubber band from her jacket pocket and wrapped it around his finger a few times.

"I, Daryl, promise to love, honor, and cherish you, to watch your back always, to aim for the head, and to never let you turn." Daryl put the necklace on her, his fingers trailing down her neck as he fastened the clasp. "By the power, uh, given to me since there's no one else around, I now say we're Mr. and Mrs. Dixon. I may kiss the bride." He gently pressed his lips to hers making their new union official.

Their walk back to the house where the others stayed was taking longer this time. Daryl walked slower, not wanting to put an end to their alone time. For once, Carol was more aware of their surroundings than Daryl. She found a minivan, and upon finding it unlocked, crawled inside.

"It's still pretty early. Rick won't be expecting us back until this evening, and we already know what we're going to tell him. Any fun ideas to pass the time?" Carol asked teasingly, shutting the van door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

About an hour before sunset that evening, they returned to the farm house with their hunting treasures which included two rabbits, three squirrels, and a snake. They had them cleaned and in the fire pretty quickly, so Daryl gathered everyone to come talk during dinner. It would be a good time for them to lay all of their cards out on the table.

They sat side by side on the large, wooden swing that sat fireside. For once, Carol was the one who couldn't sit still. She picked at her cuticles and the skin around them until her fingers were bleeding, unaware she was even doing it until Daryl put his hand over hers, stopping her fidgeting.

Other than their issue with Rick, the others were truly their family. Michonne was Daryl's partner in crime, so to say. While on their hunt for the madman who had taken so much from them, from their family, they had forged an easy friendship, actually comfortable enough to joke with each other. Tyreese and Sasha had long since proven their loyalty to the family, and with Tyreese's forgiveness, Carol needed his presence. Glenn was their comic relief, and a person they could count on no matter what. Together, they had watched Carl grow from the young boy at the quarry, into the man he was now, smart, strong, and capable. It went unsaid, but they both knew it would be the hardest to leave Judith behind.

It would be preferable to stick by their sides, but wouldn't hesitate to leave if anyone had any problems with what Carol had done. As the others came to sit around the fire, Daryl laced his fingers through hers, smiling at how he did so by instinct now. This time, it was as much to show her love as it was a display of their togetherness for the others.

One by one, bodies came to rest by the warm fire, most unaware of the reason for the discussion. Carol had asked for everyone to eat first, hoping that would keep people thinking clearly. Once they were finished, Daryl took a deep breath, and began to explain the situation.

"As some of you know, Carol wasn't at the prison when the Governor attacked. Rick took her with him on a run, but never brought her back. She had been left to fend for herself, abandoned by our all mighty leader." Daryl explained, watching as Rick pushed off of the tree he was leaning against and walked over to stand within the circle.

"Now, Daryl, something had to be done. She had killed two of our own," Rick said. "She had supplies, and I knew she could survive on her own. I made sure she would be alright."

"Yeah, finding the car door locked as her fucking walking papers was really an honorable move. Don't just leave her to die alone, make her feel about this big while you do it," Daryl spat in disgust. "She had enough of that from Ed."

Michonne turned to look at their leader, her objection to his banishment of a member of their own was written across her face. "You did what?" she questioned, unsure if she had heard right. "You took Carol out with you, just so you could leave her all alone?"

Rick looked at the faces he saw around the fire, all looking to him as they waited for an explanation. Other than Maggie and Tyreese, he was the only one who knew that Carol wasn't at the prison that day. He took a deep breath, slowly exhaled, and began to explain. Daryl didn't miss the cold glare Michonne leveled at Rick when he got to the part about the abandonment, clearly disapproving of his decision.

One at a time, Carol received hugs, apologies, and thanks from the people she considered her family. She couldn't help the tears that flowed, overcome with emotion that he family was accepting her back even after what had happened. Maggie tearfully apologized and begged for Carol's forgiveness, which she received immediately.

"Carol, I'm truly sorry. I'm not sure why I was so quick to accept Rick's decision let alone how he went about it. Please, I hope you can forgive me," Maggie pleaded. With her head down, she turned away from Carol, too ashamed to look at the woman she had hurt.

"Maggie, wait." Carol could see the woman was beating herself up inside. "I'm not mad at you. I don't blame you either. You were just trusting the decision of someone we've all looked to for guidance since the beginning." Carol stood up and gathered the younger woman into her arms as she whispered her forgiveness into Maggie's ear.

As she returned to her seat next to Daryl, she giggled as she took in the sight at her feet. Maggie and Glenn were making their own little nest at her feet.

"We're not worthy!" Glenn said from his seat in the dirt, making her laugh out loud. When Sophia was younger, before she could understand the more adult humor, they would watch reruns of Saturday Night Live. Sophia's favorites were always Wayne and Garth, and Glenn's humorous imitation of the duo made her smile.

Once the Rhee's took their leave to their tent, Daryl looked around and realized everyone had left them alone. He spotted Rick, sitting on the roof of the farm house. It was supposed to be Abraham on watch, but after everyone had given him the cold shoulder, Daryl figured he must have asked for the shift to get some time alone.

"So, are we good?" Daryl asked, only wanting to stay if she was really comfortable with how everything went during their meeting. Everyone had welcomed her with open arms, except for Rick, and that wasn't something that went unnoticed. Not wanting to be away from her for the night, he decided their talk could wait until morning.

"I'm good. As long as I'm with you, I'm always good," Carol replied, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Won't be without me, Mrs. Dixon. Ever again," Daryl said. His devotion to her, and her to him, was overwhelming. Neither one had ever had someone, save for Sophia, who made them feel important, cherished, worthwhile, or loved.

It was decided they would stay with the group as long as everyone was at least civil. Daryl took Carol's hand, and together, they walked away from Rick's watchful eyes, and went back into the house. He kept his hopes up that she would get some rest tonight. Tomorrow they would be leaving the safety and comfort provided by the house, and traveling the open road.


	7. Chapter 7

Even though everyone had fully accepted her back into the family, Carol still preferred to bring up the rear as they walked with Daryl at her side. There were enough threats in the world without feeling like you needed to watch out for those within your group. Maybe in time this feeling would pass. For now, she focused her energy into survival, paying careful attention to the sights and sounds around her.

There was a gentle breeze causing the tree branches to sway, the soft rustling of leaves filling the air. There were a few birds chirping in the trees, and some squirrels jumping from limb to limb. She was hungry, but kept their presence to herself. They looked small, and maybe if Daryl didn't notice them, they would have a chance to grow up.

"Hey, Carol!" Carl was walking against the flow of traffic along the tracks to come back by her.

"You ok?" Daryl, looked at her, eyebrow raised. He was still unsure who she was completely comfortable around.

"Yeah, I'm ok," she assured him. "Just give us a minute please."

Daryl nodded to her and jogged to catch up with Michonne, leaving the two of them to speak in what little privacy the open woods could provide.

"For what it's worth, my dad was wrong to kick you out. Daryl's right, anything could have happened to you," Carl stated, his displeasure with his father clear in his voice.

"Your dad didn't choose to be a leader, he just acquired the title," Carol said as she wrapped her arm around the young man's shoulders. "Life hasn't been easy for any of us since the turn, and even harder on him. He's been watching out for all of us, had to kill the man he thought was his best friend, and then your mother-" Carol stopped herself, not wanting to say something to upset Carl. Rick had been bending over backwards, trying to find food and shelter for not only the group, but his pregnant wife.

She smiled when she remembered the first night at the prison with Daryl. Lori had been given a larger portion as she was eating for two, and Daryl commented about "Little Shane" being hungry. She felt terrible laughing at it, but everyone knew it was a very real possibility.

"But, you lost Sophia." Carl turned to her now, apprehensive of saying the girl's name out loud. "You've lost someone too, and you didn't go crazy, didn't leave anyone to die. What you did, you were helping the group. You were keeping us kids safe. Thank you."

Carol stopped walking so she could hug the young man. His understanding and appreciation meant more to her at that moment than she would ever be able to explain. The mere fact that Carl had referred to himself as a kid showed her just how much he was trying to comfort her. Everyone knew how she felt about children, which made the situation with the girls hurt that much more.

Her eyes drifted up to focus on the angel wings in front of her. As long as she had those in sight, the anxiousness would stay away.

* * *

><p>Walking the tracks with Michonne was almost like meditation. With her, there was no need to fill the air with idle chatter. Other than Carol, she was his favorite companion on the road. They had spent so much time together searching for the Governor, that they could communicate wordlessly and anticipate the movements of the other. He couldn't help but glance over his shoulder from time to time to keep an eye on Carol. It didn't feel right, being this far away from her after so much time apart.<p>

"So, Carol and you are a thing?" Michonne asked, breaking the silence Daryl enjoyed.

"Could say that," replied Daryl, smirking at the woman. He knew she was smart enough that she already knew the answer before asking. "How'd you put it together?"

"You stay in one place more than a couple of hours, you'd be surprised what you can pick up," she answered.

Daryl nodded as they shared a laugh at the words repeated between them. It hadn't been too long ago that he said the words to her in an effort to stop her from chasing after the ghost of the Governor.

"Seriously, it's about damn time. That smile looks good on you, Dixon," Michonne observed, choosing to be silent after that statement. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to worry about a bolt in her ass, she thought.

From time to time, Tyreese would meet Carol's eyes, the pain of their secret shared between them. The fewer people who had to know about it, the better. Lizzie. Mika. Almost Judith. Carol looked at the baby, nestled against her brother for her afternoon nap, and felt the dampness in her eye thinking about how close Lizzie was to killing her.

"You didn't let me pull away, I'm not letting you do it either," Daryl said, taking her hand in his and rubbing circles on her skin with his thumb. You alright with Carl, or do I have to scare the kid?"

"Stop." She smiled at the tone they always had when either one of them said that word now. "He was just trying to understand why his dad made the choices he did. He's a good kid, Daryl."

After stopping off of the tracks for awhile, they continued in their normal groupings. Rick, Carl, and Michonne took the lead, appearing to be their own family unit within the larger one. They were followed by Glenn, Maggie and Tara, with Abe's group trailing closely behind. Bob, Sasha, and Tyreese were just ahead of Daryl and Carol. More often than not, they stuck to this order, whether by habit or strategical reasoning, it just felt right. It was comforting to Carol, having Rick as far away from her as possible.

* * *

><p>Tyreese has been one of the more quiet travelers as they kept moving as far away from Terminus as possible. With so many losses weighing on his mind, it was hard to think of anything else. Everyone they had lost at the prison, the girls, and Karen. He balled his hands into fists, anger coursing through his veins. Sasha adjusted her gait so her shoulder would bump into her brothers as they walked, reminding him that she was there. He wasn't alone.<p>

He looked down at her, her eyes wide with feigned innocence. Finally, a smile, small, but still true, spread across his face. "Always annoying, little sister," he teased, bumping back into her. 'You just keep poking and poking."

"It's what I do best," Sasha remarked with a grin. A quick glance over her shoulder told her that Bob was amused by their interaction. There wasn't much to find humor in these days, so when they found something, they made the most of it.

"I'm glad you were one of the few who made it through the sickness. Don't know what I would do without you telling me what to do all the time," said Tyreese.

"It's all thanks to you and your group. If you guys hadn't made it back with the medicine, I might not be here. Hershel too. He did everything he could to keep everyone as comfortable as he could," Sasha said, her voice full of sadness with the loss of the older man. She had come to think of him as a friend during their time in isolation, as she poured every ounce of energy she had into helping him however she could.

"Hey, there's a house up there!" Rosita called out to the others. The promise of a safe shelter and maybe some beds was all the motivation needed for everyone to pick up the pace. As they got closer, everyone began to focus. They had the routine of clearing a new shelter down to a science. As Tyreese approached Rick to take Judith for him, something had him coming to a screeching halt.

"No! Not here! Anywhere but here!" Carol's eyes shot up at the sound of Tyreese screaming and realized where they were. In front of her was two small, recently filled graves in the middle of a grove of Pecan trees, yellow flowers serving as the markers.


	8. Chapter 8

As Carol looked up and saw what had caused Tyreese's panicked outburst, she collapsed to the ground. Of all the places in Georgia that they could have gone to, they found themselves here at this house. The house that was in the center of countless nightmarish thoughts and memories for not just Tyreese, but for her as well.

Carol's knee gave out, sending her crashing to the ground before Daryl even had a chance to reach out and catch her. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult as it was, but the feeling of her throat closing up made the task next to impossible.

Daryl watched as the woman, his woman, who had become tough as nails fall apart in front of him. An eerie feeling flooded his body as though they have already been in this situation, and then it clicked. Sophia.

Crouching down in front of her, he extended a hand to her, not wanting to push her physical boundaries as the moment. With their similar backgrounds, he knew if he tried to pull her out of her comfort zone, it could close her off further from him.

She was laying in the dirt, unable to hold herself upright any longer. Daryl placed his hand on the ground near hers, his palm flat with the earth. Carol slid her hand out the few inches until just their fingertips were touching. Finally, a word slipped out from her lips.

"Lizzie."

* * *

><p>Sasha reached out for her brother, but he swatted her hands away. He sat on the forest floor, shaking his head as though trying to erase whatever was haunting his mind. He was just starting to get his breathing under control, but kept his eyes focused on the dirt under his feet, unable to look her in their eyes still.<p>

"Ty, talk to me. What happened? Are you ok?" Her questions lingering in the air as Tyreese debated whether or not he was able to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, he began telling Sasha about what had happened.

"Lizzie and Mika, they saved me at the prison. They killed one of the women with the Governor that was coming after me. I still see her in my head," Tyreese confessed. "Long, brown hair, army green shirt with blood splattered on it, and the look of shock she had that two children had guns pointed at her head."

Tara was close enough to hear his words and stomach dropped as Tyreese described the deceased woman. She instantly realized it was her girlfriend, Alisha. Excusing herself from the group, she went to sit under a tree away from the group so she would be out of hearing range. It was all so much and so fast. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back, wishing she could wake up from this nightmare.

* * *

><p>Eventually, remembering what had happened in this house, what she had to do, was too much for Carol and she passed out. Daryl's eyes met Sasha's as she was helping her brother to where Carol was. Leaving her side right now would be one of the hardest things Daryl would ever have to do, but he had to speak with Sasha. Maybe Tyreese opened up to his sister what happened.<p>

"Glenn, I'm gonna need your help with something," Daryl stated keeping his voice as low as possible. The last thing he needed was Carol thinking he was sending a babysitter her way, although that was essentially what he was planning. "Can you and Maggie keep an eye on Carol for a little bit for me? Don't want to leave her side, but I need to talk to Sasha, see if she's got any clue as to what the hell is going on around here."

Together, they looked behind them at Carol, curled up in the fetal position, her body still shaking violently with her sobbing. "Only so many people I trust with my girl," he admitted.

Glenn couldn't help the sliver of a smile that appeared with Daryl's admission of his relationship with Carol. After everything those two endured before the dead roamed the earth, they truly deserved to find someone who cared for them and loved them. He knew as cliched as it sounded, they were meant to be.

"Don't let me down, Short Round," he said, clapping the younger man on the shoulder as he walked over to where Sasha stood.

* * *

><p>"I sure hope you found out more than I did," Daryl said as he laced his fingers together and placed his hands on top of his head. He shifted his body weight to lean more on his left foot, positioning his body closer to Sasha's as Rick sauntered over to join their conversation. Daryl's patience was wearing thin with the former sheriff and his need to stick his nose in everything, especially where it wasn't any of his concern.<p>

"Tyreese started from the beginning. He talked about the little Samuels girls, Lizzie and Mika, saving him from one of the Governor's minions that was going to kill him. They shot her in the head, took him over to where they hid Judith, and the four of them made their escape. While they were out in the woods, Ty heard some people screaming for help. He made sure the girls were ok and watching everything around them before he went to help. He's always trying to help others before himself," said Sasha. She reached for her water bottle for a sip before continuing, wishing it was something stronger with this story.

"Carol found the girls out there while he was gone, and from what he said it was just in the nick of time. Judith began to fuss, which was what got Carol's attention in the first place, and Lizzie was trying to silence her by covering her nose and mouth."

"She did what?" exclaimed Rick, suddenly wishing the girl was in front of him. He wondered how could anyone try to hurt his child.

"Rick, Asskicker's alright. Let Sasha finish talking," Daryl urged. He always had an odd feeling about that girl. Something about her wasn't right, naming walkers and such. Now that he thought about it, she was probably the one feeding the walkers at the prison. Silently, he wondered if Ryan knew his daughter had issues, if maybe she was supposed to be on some form of medication. If she did, that would have been rather difficult to maintain.

"As you can see," continued Sasha, "Carol got to them in time. She made sure Judith was always with either her or my brother. They kept walking along the tracks until they found their way to a house that they actually considered staying at. It still had water and propane, fruit and nut trees, and everything they needed. The first night went well. Judith slept through the night, the other two girls huddled together, and there wasn't even one walker spotted. The next day, while they were outside talking they heard one of the girls scream. They took off running towards where the girls were, but they were too late. Lizzie had killed her sister, stabbed her repeatedly, but avoided her brain. She was trying to turn her sister and Jude into walkers. Sasha turned to face Rick, making sure she had his attention before continuing. "Once again, Carol saved your daughter's life."

Both Rick and Daryl were at a loss for words. So much had happened to the entire family in such a little time period, but what this group went through was unthinkable. Daryl couldn't help but feel the story was going to get worse before it got better.

"After the loss of Karen, Ty hasn't been able to hurt a fly. He explained how he was only able to take care of the walkers when it was absolutely a matter of life or death. If they could run away from them, that was preferable for him, easier. After they found Mika lying there in a pool of blood, Carol somehow managed to keep herself calm and collected enough to deal with Lizzie. She reassured the girl that her sister wouldn't come back as a walker while they were inside the house, but tied Mika's shoelaces together just in case. Once Tyreese had lunch ready for Lizzie and Judith, Carol went outside and made sure Mika wouldn't turn."

Hearing that Carol had to put down the girl she had cared for like her own broke Daryl's heart. It felt like losing Sophia all over again. No wonder she reacted this way to a place with so many horrible memories. He knew Sasha was still talking about their story, but the words weren't registering. All he could focus on was his need to take care of Carol. Finally, he heard what Sasha was saying.

"That night, Carol confessed to Ty about Karen and David. She placed her gun on the table for him to do what he felt he needed to with it. Instead of picking up the gun, he forgave her, still showed her compassion and trust when he could see she felt she wasn't worth it," Sasha explained sadly.

As Sasha paused for another drink of her water, Daryl decided he had heard enough. He looked back to where Carol was, lying in the dirt, her body remained still. Tyreese sat at her side looking dog-tired and utterly devastated. He needed to express his gratitude to the other man, not just for refusing to pick up the gun when it was handed to him, but for continuing to support his wife and for how he looked after her when it was just the two of them on the road with an infant.

* * *

><p>Tyreese looked up at Daryl as he sat down next to Carol. The men were facing each other, neither knowing what to say or where to start. Daryl could see the tears running down Tyreese's face.<p>

"Sasha told us about what happened, what you guys had to do. I'm sorry you two had to handle all of that on your own," Daryl said, his eyes seeking out Carol as he spoke.

"It was all Carol," Tyreese acknowledged. "She's the one who saved Jude, not once, but twice. She's the one that was able to keep Mika from turning when I couldn't take care of her. Carol was the one who somehow managed to think rationally and summon the courage and strength to put down Lizzie."

"Hold on. You mean Lizzie was turning too?" Daryl questioned, not quite understanding what he missed. He readjusted himself so he was sitting closer to her, her head almost in his lap. Always fidgeting, he kept his nervous hands busy brushing her longer hair up off of her forehead.

"We knew Lizzie wasn't right in the head at that point. She killed her sister and she was going to kill Judith so they would be walkers for her to play with. Carol explained to her that she couldn't make Jude turn because she can't walk yet, and it worked," noted Tyreese. "I stayed with Judith, while she took Lizzie outside a little walk away from the house. I'm not sure what she said, and I know she didn't have a choice, but she told Lizzie to look forward as she raised her gun, aiming at the back of the girl's head."

"Oh fuck," Daryl said, realizing what Carol had to do. "That's three girls she's lost now."

"I don't know much about the other one, but I figured you must have been a big help for her at the time. The night after Lizzie, after she gave me the gun and asked me to make a choice, she woke up about ten times throughout the night. Sometimes she yelled out, other times she just cried, but the names she said were the same either way. Sophia and you," Tyreese stated. He wasn't concerned about their relationship status like Glenn and Maggie were, but he knew they were something. Much more than Karen was to him, but that could have changed in time, if they were given a chance.

"We were stuck out on the highway when a herd came through. Everyone hid where they could, and Carol was separated from her daughter. A walker got close to Soph and she took off into the woods. Me and Rick went out looking for her, but we didn't see any sign of her. Our group found our way to Hershel's farm, settled there for a bit. I went looking for her every day, but nothing still," Daryl said, the sadness clear in his eyes.

"One day, I got hurt pretty bad, was seeing people I thought were dead and shit, but I found Sophia's doll. I must have been in really rough shape because Andrea thought I was a walker and shot me in the head. It gave Carol hope though, bringing the doll back," he continued, his lips turning up slightly remembering the words she said that night when she brought him food.

"Then it all went to shit. Glenn found out they were keeping geeks in the barn, thought they could cure them or something. Someone in our group went nuts. He went and let all the walkers out, some of them were their family. We thought we took care of all of them, but then there was a little low growl. These skinny little ankles appeared in the doorway, stumbling over the bodies in the way and coming our way. Carol came running, crying out for her baby. I dropped my gun so I could catch her, keep her from getting bit. I held her as Rick fired his gun. Loudest fucking gunshot I've ever heard," Daryl recounted. He pulled the red rag from his pocket and wiped the tears away, not caring what Tyreese thought about it.

"I had no idea," whispered Ty. "I'm sorry, for both of you. She's a lot tougher than I gave her credit for."

"She's a Dixon. She's gotta be tough," Daryl said. He would wait by her side until her body allowed her to wake up. No longer did she have to face things on her own. She was his partner, his better half, and he was going to do anything and everything in his power to keep her from feeling the hurt of losing another child ever again.


	9. Chapter 9

It was getting close to nightfall, and they needed to get to a place to call home for the night. Daryl certainly wasn't going to force Carol to sleep here. Tyreese mentioned a larger house about a mile from where they were now. On their first trip through here, Carol suggested they move forward in hopes of finding a smaller house for their stay, one that would be easier for one adult to keep watch from while the other adult protected the three girls.

Seeing that Carol still didn't look strong enough to walk that mile on her own two feet, Daryl got down on one knee, and swept her up into his arms, Normally, she would have insisted she was fine walking on her own two feet, but for right now, she was content with him carrying her until they found shelter. At least this time she was in better shape than the last time he had carried her this way.

Remembering the pain he felt in his heart as he sat outside the cold cell in solitary, delaying what he thought to be inevitable - putting down the woman who had become his best friend. The woman he had grown to love. Somehow, luck was on his side. He found her just in time and carried her to Hershel then, just as he was carrying her to safety once again.

He looked ahead to Tyreese, still carrying Judith as though she was the one person holding him together. Flanked by Sasha and Bob, he kept his eyes on the child, always moving forward. He no longer resembled the vengeful, hostile man from that morning in the prison. Now, he reminded Daryl of the woman in his arms back at the quarry; jumpy, meek, and much like she would, he protected the little girl in his arms above all.

The woman in his arms, however, had changed so much. Rising from the ashes, she became stronger, confident, and most importantly, her own person. Somehow, she had acquired all of the positive traits known to the Dixon name. If Merle could see her now, even he would be proud.

Then again, she had already shown his brother her claws once. Daryl could still recall the stunned look on Merle's face when Carol vowed to hurt him if Merle ended up hurting his little brother as he had done so many times before.

Carol's head was resting against his shoulder, her left arm coiled around his neck. Her right hand was rubbing the fabric of his shirt, grazing his skin at times. They weren't much for public displays of affection, preferring the rush of rushing around corners at the sound of footsteps coming down the halls before at the prison. Daryl loved stealing a moment of physical contact before anyone could notice. Sometimes it was a kiss, other times it was just a brush of the hair, fingers intertwined, or something like what she was doing now. He lived for these moments.

Just as the last glimmers of light were fading behind the trees, the group found themselves at the larger house Tyreese had described earlier. Much like they had before the prison, a few people went inside to make sure the building was safe. After a few minutes, Glenn reappeared on the porch to let everyone know they had found the house empty. The others gathered their meager belongings and followed him inside.

Daryl refused to put Carol down until they were upstairs. He had claimed the master bedroom for them before Maggie and Glenn were able to. Holding her against his body with one arm, he pulled the blue flannel sheets back on the large white wooden bed. He tucked her in between the sheets before walking around the bed to climb in beside her.

Carol turned towards him and placed her head on his shoulder, burying her face in his neck. She was torn between needing to talk to him, to get out what happened, and not being strong enough to make the words flow once she opened her mouth. Feeling his fingers trailing up and down her back, she decided to draw on his strength and confide in him.

"Daryl? Do you know what happened with the girls?" Carol could feel the wetness pooling in her eyes knowing what she had to relive. There was only one other time she had ever felt so empty and lost in her life.

"No. I didn't see them at the prison. Beth saw some of the kids along the tracks, but it wasn't Lizzie or Mika. The other ones though, they didn't make it. Sorry, Carol," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. The sadness in his eyes confirmed her thoughts that he would feel as though he failed her once again when it came to the children. No matter how many times he told her that she appreciated everything he had done, that he wasn't a failure, he had been beaten down so much in his life, that he couldn't believe what she told him.

"They saved Tyreese during the attack. He kept both of them and Judith safe after they escaped. When I found them, Lizzie had her hand over Judith's mouth to stifle the crying, but she was suffocating her." The tears were already falling and she was only at the beginning of the story.

The thing he hated most in the world used to be his father. Now, it was anything that made Carol cry. He kissed her forehead and pulled the blankets up over her shoulders.

"I know, sweetheart. Ty told us the story, what you had to do, and I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you, or to be there for you." Daryl held her close until she fell asleep. Once she did, he remained awake, unable to shut off his brain.

Under the circumstances, he knew he couldn't blame himself for what she had been through, but he couldn't help but run through the list of what could have been. What if he had been with her to help take care of the girls? What if Rick never decided to kick her out? What if she didn't feel the need to take care of David and Karen all on her own? What if he would have manned up and told her how he felt a long time ago?


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. The flu came to my house and I've had my hands full with two sick kids, then I got it. I hope this chapter was worth the wait for you. As always, thank you for reading!**

Four days? Maybe it was five days they had been on the road, moving swiftly away from the place that had falsely promised a safe place for all. Michonne and Carl had taken the lead with the others close behind them as nightfall was quickly approaching. They both had passed through a small place on the way out of the prison and figured it would make a good shelter for the night.

Sitting atop the green metal roof was a weathered sign for "Joe and Joe Jr's BBQ Shack" that had surely seen better days. As they walked closer, they stone walls and wooden porch rails became visible. Michonne and Carl went inside to check the building before everyone else entered the restaurant since they were already familiar with the layout. Everything seemed to be exactly as it was when they left, so they called to the others to join them inside.

The motorcycles that had been abandoned long ago in the parking lot drew Daryl like a magnet. He walked over to them, interested in what kind of shape they were in, and found a few that were pretty decent. As soon as the morning sun was up, he planned on hunting for some food, and then he would work on getting one of the bikes up and running. They weren't his bike, Merle's bike, but they would do.

* * *

><p>Daryl returned to the BBQ shack much later than he anticipated. It was well past noon, but he was returning with a large turkey There was one Triumph in the group, a few years newer than Merle's had been. He had to get back to the prison, see if his brother's bike survived the battle. Carol came outside, leaning against the railing to keep watch while he worked on the bike, attempting to get it running again.<p>

As Michonne walked out on the porch, the screen door slamming shut behind her, both Daryl and Caryl spun around to see who or what made the noise. She ran her fingers along the railing before resting against it at Carol's side. They didn't speak at first, both finding comfort in the shared silence, Michonne remembering when she finally let the dam burst when she was here before. It had felt good, freeing the wave of emotions she had held in since the beginning of this life.

"Rick told me about what you did. You were forced to make a choice, and Judith is here and alive because of it. I get it, Carol." Michonne assured the silver-haired woman at her side. They both leaned over the rail in silence for a while, watching Daryl work.

"I was just trying to save everyone. To keep the kids safe," Carol quietly confessed, not looking at the other woman. "At that time, I had already lost one. Now I've lost three." Resting her head on her arms in front of her, she allowed a few silent tears to fall.

"Rick told us what you had to do, but Sasha explained to us what really happened to the two of you out there. You were just doing what you had to do." Michonne took a deep breath before continuing. "You aren't alone, Carol. My son, Andre, he was three when this started. He was never even given a chance. His father…" Michonne's words trailed off, her throat feeling tighter as she said his name, unable to finish her story.

Carol was stunned. This was the most she had talked to Michonne since meeting her, and for her to speak of something so personal, so painful, she was caught off guard. "Thank you," she said, placing her hand on the other woman's. "Up until now, I haven't had anyone who really understand what I've been through. They said they did."

"But they didn't. They couldn't." Michonne knew the pain Carol felt all too well, never opening up about how she felt to anyone until now. Not even when it was just her and Andrea.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of metal crashing to the asphalt.

"Son of a bitch!"

They looked up to see Daryl spiking another wrench to the ground like a football. He was pacing, obviously frustrated by something on the bike that wasn't working by the way he was glaring at it.

"Fucking wrench broke my mother fucking screws," he grumbled, much to the delight of Carol and Michonne after their heavy-hearted topic of conversation. The ladies looked at each other before laughing at the misfortune the hunter was having.

Daryl watched the women, holding each other up with the assistance of the wooden rail as they laughed at him and the trouble he was having.

"You two find somethin' funny?" he asked. As frustrated as he was, he was glad they had found humor in something, that Carol was laughing.

"We're alright, Mr. Jackson," Michonne said, sending Carol into another fit of laughter. The confusion on Daryl's face told her that he didn't get her joke. "Samuel L. Jackson, that is. He drops a ton of f-bombs in his movies and your outburst reminded me about how much I miss those," she elaborated.

"AK-47. The very best there is," Carol stated, glancing at Michonne with a grin.

"When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes," Michonne finished with a smile. She held up her hand for a high-five from Carol before turning to go back inside, still laughing to herself.

Carol was still smiling as she walked off the porch and came to sit on the ground in between the two bikes Daryl was working on. She leaned her back against the stones, her muscles relaxing as they absorbed the heat the stones held from sitting in the sun all afternoon. The sounds of Judith fussing drifted out through the screen door to where she sat, making her realize Daryl would have clearly heard their conversation.

"Daryl, can I ask you something?" Carol took his shrug as permission, so she continued. "Did you hear what I was talking about with Michonne?"

"Yes," he answered, looking at the wrench in his hands still. "Didn't mean to, but you guys were right there." He looked guilty, as if he were listening intentionally, but Carol knew that wasn't the case.

"It's alright. We weren't whispering. I suppose anyone could have heard, but I don't mind that you did," Carol said as she patted the ground next to her.

Daryl stood up and walked the few paces to sit at her side, stretching his arms out and put one around her shoulders making her laugh.

"I never knew about 'Chonne's kid. All the time together looking for that asshole, I never had a clue," he murmurred. "Wish there was something I could do for her. For both of you."

Suddenly realizing what he did, she tilted her head to rest on his shoulder. "You weren't having problems with the bike, were you?" she asked.

"Caught me. I just didn't want to see you cry again, and I'm already scared of Ninja Warrior without her being hormonal," Daryl admitted with a laugh.

"You made all that noise for us, to lighten the mood and make us laugh. Thank you," Carol said. "I know you said you didn't think you would be any good at this, being a husband, I mean, but you're the best husband anyone could ask for.

Daryl blushed as he kissed the top of her head, burying his face in her hair. The voices of the others talking inside drifted to where he sat. Carl was telling someone about how close they were to the prison. If they were close, maybe they could go back there. Even if they couldn't stay, maybe a few people could get into C block and grab some of the items the family considered special, something he considered special.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N - I'm so sorry this update has taken so long! It has been a very busy holiday season, but I'm back and we're on our way to the prison! Thank you again to everyone who has been reading, reviewing, and waited patiently for this chapter. Love you all!

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><p>As she followed the others, Tara remembered how ready she was to fight for a safe place to call home, unaware of the violent personal vendetta their leader had planned. The bile crept up her throat as she remembered the way Brian callously chopped the innocent old man's head off just to send a message to the prison family.<p>

She remembered Mitch yelling at her from his position atop the tank, and the small smile that she tried to fight seeing his reanimated corpse. Tara thought he had met a fitting end; being forced to wander the earth, never truly dead or alive. Hopefully, she would be able to shake the hand of the person who had put an end to that miserable bastard.

In all the chaos, she had lost Alicia. Early on, she was being comforted by her as the battle began. Later, she had found her body, lying on the pavement. A single gunshot wound to her head had ended her life. That was enough to send Tara scrambling for any safe place she could find, feeling herself fall to pieces.

As the memories faded, she was staring at the ground, taking one unconscious step after another. When she looked up, she saw Glenn at her left side, and Maggie to her right with a comforting smile. With the realization that Maggie had fully accepted her after being on the side of the man who killed her father, she felt like she had found home.

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><p>"What are you going to grab first?" Michonne asked Carl, who was walking at her left side<p>

"You don't know we can even get in the cell block.," replied the boy, dragging his feet as he walked.

"I'll get in," she promised. "I have to get my cat back." She looked over at Carl, both of them laughing at the memory of the brightly colored cat she picked up on a run to his hometown.

"The picture. I wanted it so Judith could see what our mom looked like, and I have to get it back." He looked down, still saddened by his mother's loss. He felt Michonne rest her hand on his shoulder and felt better. She couldn't replace Lori, but she had evolved into a fantastic mother figure that he appreciated and knew Judith would need.

"Tell you what. First, we go after the picture. Then, if we can get the cat, we will," Michonne assured him..

"Thank you. Not just for this, for everything you do for us, for me and Judy," Carl quietly said.

Michonne grinned, and Carol swore he saw a glimmer of a tear glide off of her face. "Thank you, Carl, for accepting me into your family," she answered through the lump in her throat.

It wasn't often that Michonne let her emotions visible to the others, but Carl and she had a unique bond which allowed them to be honest with each other. Feeling the need to lighten the moment before it became too much for her, Carl decided to change the subject.

"Do you think your candy bar stash is safe?" he asked Michonne.

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><p>The group was being led by Rick and Abraham. The former had spent the majority of their trip explaining to the latter about the prison. They had gone over every minute detail, from the entrances, to the layout, and of course the loss that had occurred there. Abraham was aware that his group contained the only people that wouldn't be overcome with emotion just by seeing the prison again.<p>

Abraham accepted his mission briefing, and vowed to pay extra attention to detail upon reaching the fence line surrounding the prison. It would be mainly Rosita and himself responsible for the safety of the others. Eugene might be alright for another set of eyes, but that was about it.

Maggie had lost her father here, the man who had become the family patriarch. He understood Tyreese had lost someone important here, but it seemed as though that had happened before the attack. Countless other members, children included, were lost that day. Maybe some had scattered into the woods and escaped, but the chances were slim.

He looked over his shoulder at the faces behind him, all wearing similar masks of strength as they got closer to their old home. Connecting with the eyes of the Dixon's at the end of the line, they nodded at him, and he nodded in return. Maybe he would have a few others he could count on if the shit hit the fan.

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><p>Daryl felt a little more at ease knowing it was Abe leading them into the prison. He didn't have any prior knowledge of the prison to develop an attachment to it. He wouldn't see the ghosts that haunted it now. The hunter was able to take some comfort in the fact that Abe would certainly be able to put down any members of the family that had been lost.<p>

He wrapped his arm around Carol's shoulders, pulling her into his side. Returning to their home would be harder on her than some of the others. Children's artwork decorated every surface of the cell block in an attempt to brighten the dreary walls. None of the kids colored more than Mika, who always drew flowers for the woman who had become her mother figure.

Foolish hope kept Daryl focused on finding the Triumph with the saddlebags still filled with the only mementos he still had, some of his, some were Merle's. A picture of his mother holding her younger son as the older one stood behind her. If luck was on his side, he would find the book he stashed in there with a single wilted flower pressed between the pages.

Daryl was jarred from his thoughts when Carol came to an unexpected halt. He looked up and noticed the others were frozen in place as well. Peeking through the trees just ahead was one of the prison's watchtowers. He laced his fingers with Carol's, squeezing her hand tightly as a reminder than she wasn't alone. Around them, the others were coming together, supporting each other through words and touches. They were a tough group, they would make it through this, just like with each loss before.


	12. Chapter 12

In all of the chaos, the gate doors had been left open, allowing everything and everyone to enter the prison yard. They walked in silence, drawing strength from one another as they prepared for anything. Abe took the point position. It wasn't that he didn't trust the others to keep their eyes open, he just knew it would be a difficult task for anyone who had witnessed what was essentially a massacre. Rosita walked along the left side of the group, while Tara took the right side more towards the back. The women had agreed without a word to keep an eye out for dangers that might appear. Tara felt she owed it to these people to offer protection in any way she could after her part in the attack.

It was the opposite of when they first ran up the dirt path, happy to find a promising shelter after successfully clearing the yard. Now, it felt more like a graveyard filled with memories of those who lost their lives here.

Rick, Glenn, Michonne, and Sasha handled the walkers that inhabited the yard, searching the faces for any that were familiar. Rick recognized the Irish woman from the woods, and Glenn and Sasha found a few former Woodbury residents who had made a new home for themselves in A block. Michonne sliced through each one of the men and women that stood at the Governor's side, venting her anger and frustration with each slice of her katana. She didn't talk about it, but she was still devastated by the way the madman ended the life of someone who had become a friend not even three feet from her side.

They paused outside the cell block, agreeing to survey the outside before going into their old home. That was something they would do together A plan was made to meet at the dining tables before moving into C block. Rick was anxious to see if anything in his garden was edible, and Michonne decided to search for any weapons with Tara. Tyreese checked the cantina storage for food, while Glenn and Sasha looked for signs of anyone being there since the ambush and secured any open gates. They couldn't afford to be caught off guard while they were here.

It was Carol who first saw the sunlight glinting off of the chrome. She reached for Daryl's hand and led him to where the bike was She sat down on the metal bench of the picnic table nearby and kept watch as he checked it over, finding the bike in better shape than he imagined. It had been knocked on its side, probably from the cannon blast. With a little bit of polish, it would look as good as new. Opening the saddlebags, all of the contents were found when he looked inside, including Merle's pocket knife and the Cherokee rose he kept safe in the book.

"This is the rose that I put on your grave," he stated, gingerly lifting the wilted bloom to his nose to see if it still held any fragrance as he walked towards her and sat on the table. "Right after Asskicker was born, she had nothing to eat. We never planned for Lori not being around to feed her, so Maggie and I went on a run. Couldn't lose anyone else." His last words were barely more than a whisper as he tried to contain his emotions.

"We took the bike out looking for anything that might help. Just a short ride away, we saw an abandoned daycare and turned up the drive. The place was completely untouched and was a jackpot of baby stuff. Maggie pointed me in the right direction and I grabbed enough diapers, wipes, and formula to get the kid through about a week while she picked through the clothes and grabbed a couple blankets. I stood in the middle of the room for a moment, trying to see if anything else looked important when I noticed the a wall covered with tiny handprints. I felt bad enough for all of those kids that might not be around, but when I saw one handprint, it was a small orange and purple one. The name on it was "Sofie", and I felt lost all over again."

Carol's heart ached hearing the name so similar to her daughter's and seeing how it affected Daryl. She leaned into his legs and reached up to wrap her arms around him as the wetness pooled in her eyes. The sadness had been building since the first mention of a possibility to return to the prison, but the way Daryl was opening up to her, was unexpected.

"Before I found you in the tombs, I sat there on the ground, stabbing your knife into the cement repeatedly, thinking about everything I did wrong. I shoulda told you how I felt a long time ago."

The thought of how easily she had accepted her death, that she would take her last breath in that cold, dark cell made her angry. Maybe part of her did die that day, burned the weakest parts of her away like a phoenix. Maybe she did rise from the ashes, ready to set the world on fire to protect those she loves. Carol turned her attention back to what Daryl was saying, and closed off the part of her brain that was overthinking things.

"I love you, Carol," he said, smiling at her like a blind man seeing the sunset for the first time. "I should have told you that a long time ago."

"I love you too, Daryl, but I think I figured out how you felt before any of this happened," she said, waving to the destruction that was all around them.

"Stop," he replied using the same tone he always did when she was teasing him. "Have for a while now, since we were on the farm. I should have told you that day in the tombs. I was so fucking happy you were alive. I just didn't know how to tell you. Ain't like anyone ever showed me how to love someone, until you.." Daryl's words softened at the end until they were barely a whisper. He leaned into her arms and kissed her forehead.

"We better go find the others. It must be about time to go into the block," said Carol, lifting herself off of the bench. She held out a hand for Daryl and he took it, holding it tightly as they walked to meet the others.

As Carol expected, the rest of the group was gathered outside the cantina. Tyreese volunteered to stay outside with Judith where they knew it was safe. Tara offered to stay with him just in case he needed a hand.

"I tried to secure the doors when I was leaving, but I might have missed something," Glenn said, acknowledging how the block seemed almost untouched. He didn't want them to let their guard down too quickly and be any more vulnerable than they already were.

Upon entering their former home, Rick fell to his knees immediately. The feelings of failure hit him hard when he saw Hershel's crutches. He still shouldered the blame for the older man losing his life well before his time and in such a cruel manner.

Hershel. Beth. Patrick. Mrs. McLeod. Lizzie. Mika. Even Merle.

All of them had lost their lives as a result of that madman. Rick was kicking himself for not listening to Merle Dixon when he knew in his heart the other man was right. If he had, the others might still be alive.

Carol walked over and crouched down at Rick's side, placing her hand on his back. Pushing aside her personal feelings she was still dealing with in regards to the man, she offered comfort to him in his time of need. His eyes went wide as he looked up and saw it was Carol consoling him. Standing up, Rick pulled Carol into a hug and allowed his tears to fall when words failed him. The sound of boots scuffing across the concrete got Rick's attention. When he looked up, Daryl was a footstep away, hovering over Carol. His stance showed Rick that he still hadn't fully regained the trust of the hunter yet, regardless of whether or not his wife was reaching out to him when he surely didn't deserve it.

Carl laughed when he spotted Michonne exiting her old cell with a big smile and her hands behind her back. Seeing the questioning look on his face, she pulled the brightly colored cat out from behind her back and held it up as if it were a trophy.

"Did you think I was joking?" Michonne questioned in a teasing tone of voice..

Carl shook his head, smiling back at the woman. "You were right. It _is_ too damn beautiful."

"I think whenever we find somewhere more permanent, I'll put it in your sister's room," Michonne decided. "I think Jude would like something pretty to look at. Now, come on. We have a family picture of yours to go get."

"Hey, Michonne? Do you think if we find that old instant camera thing the Glenn had, we can take a new family picture?" asked Carl.

Michonne simply nodded, knowing the words wouldn't make it out with the lump in her throat the size of a golf ball. She wrapped her arm around Carl's shoulder and pulled him towards his former cell.

Walking into her cell, Carol was greeted with the colorful displays of artwork. Coloring books had become a frequently requested item whenever anyone went out on a run. The children loved brightening up the dingy, depressing prison walls with pictures of animals, flowers, and family members. Even Patrick, who was at an awkward age where he was old enough to help out with the everyday tasks still enjoyed sitting around and coloring with the younger kids sometimes. Luke enjoyed drawing whatever Patrick made that day, whether it was trees or tanks. Lizzie's pictures were mostly frenzied circles and lines, which Carol finally realized were supposed to be walkers. Knowing just how many signs telling her that the girl was having so much difficulty adjusting to this new way of life made Carol sick to her stomach. She felt the bile creeping up the back of her throat picturing Mika's blood covering her lifeless body, and Judith just a few feet away, unknowingly facing her own death as well.

She backed up a few steps until she was pressed against Daryl's chest. His hands came to rest on her shoulders, offering her strength and support as he had so many times in the past. Gently, he pushed her back into her cell and sat on the bed with her. He pulled open the drawer of her nightstand and removed the box where she kept her last few physical reminders of Sophia.

She picked up the doll, the one Daryl almost died finding, and clutched it to her chest. Carefully, Daryl placed the rest of the box into his backpack so nothing would fall out as they moved through the cell block. He unfolded the chenille navy blue throw blanket he brought her and wrapped it around her shoulders. After a moment, Carol stood up, holding the blanket together in front of her, and pulled a piece of plaid fabric from the top bunk.

"It was Lori's shirt. I decided since Lori can't wrap her arms around her daughter, I would make a blanket of one of her shirts for Jude to keep her warm," Carol explained, holding back the tears.

"It's a great idea. Lori would be so happy to know how you're taking care of her," Daryl said, as he leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

"Sorry to interrupt," Michonne said from just outside the cell. "Glenn wants everyone out by the gate."

The three of them walked together out of the block and down the path to join the others gathers in a circle just inside the gate. Maggie was sitting in the dirt, her arms around Glenn's leg as she leaned into him to keep upright. Daryl quickly realized the earth was freshly worked up in front of them and a black tarp was placed on top of it. He gripped Carol's hand a little tighter, and even reached out to rest a hand on Michonne's shoulder.

One by one, members of the family spoke of their fallen patriarch.

"The man had one hell of a sense of humor," said Sasha. She looked at Glenn, and they both laughed as they thought about Spaghetti Tuesday's, which she would make sure took place every Wednesday for as long as she could.

"He sure did," Michonne added, reminiscing over the run outside the prison walls the two of them had taken. He had her laughing so hard it was difficult to breathe. That moment would be what she would remember as her last moments with him, not kneeled before their family awaiting execution.

"He was the leader I hope to be one day," Rick admitted. He had learned a lot from Hershel, and hoped to pass those lessons on to Carl and Judith one day.

Daryl listened as everyone shared their thoughts and memories of the man who had become a father figure and a friend to those who were fortunate enough to know him. After the time Hershel spent caring for him after being bucked off of Nervous Nellie, tumbling down a steep hill, and being shot in the head, Daryl had shared a bond with the man. Hershel understood what kind of childhood the hunter was dealt without Daryl telling him one word. Then again, the scars he wore said enough that he didn't have to. Silently, Daryl wished he had told the older man how much of a difference he had made in his life.

After the last shovel full of dirt was in its place, the group moved as on to the cars. Abe, Rosita, and Eugene had assessed which cars were still driveable, and started to pack some supplies they had found into the open bed of the pickup truck. After everything they were taking with them was loaded, people began to split up between the cars. Abe, Rosita, Eugene, and Tara climbed into the truck. Michonne strapped Judith into one of the car seats they still had in the back of the Tucson. She shouted out her claim on the navigator seat as Carl and Rick joined her in the car. Sasha and Tyreese piled into the front of another SUV, while Maggie curled into Glenn's side in the backseat, still shedding tears over her lost family members.

The sound of an engine rumbling to life brought a smile to Daryl's face, and to Carol's as well. It had been a very long time since she sat behind him, arms wrapped around his waist as they drove down the road. He led the others, just as he had done with the other caravans, down the dirt path and out to the other side of the gates. Carl and Michonne exited the green SUV and closed the gates to their old home behind them. They still didn't really have a destination, but the pain was so great that no one dared to suggest staying at the prison.

Daryl snickered to himself, as he realized they were driving off into the sunset like some kind of crappy movie. He had suffered so much loss in this world. He knew his brother, Hershel, Sophia, and all of the others they had lost along the way were looking down on them, offering any protection and guidance they could from above. Sure, this world had taken a lot from him, but it had given him much more. With that thought, he feels the woman behind him move her hands from her legs up to them on his stomach, pulling herself just a little closer to him. It brings a smile to his face, knowing how much Carol has changed him for the better. She makes him happy, gives him strength, and makes him feel loved. With her by his side, this world, no matter how hard it gets some days, is a million times better than his life before.


End file.
